1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
