She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize