Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
