Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My dad just said "fuck circus"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
