yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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