so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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