Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
