new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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