Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Actions speak louder than pants.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
