I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
