but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
