Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
