Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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