Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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