If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
