so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
