Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
