Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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