winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
