Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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