Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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