Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
