hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
