I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
