11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
