I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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