You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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