I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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