my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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