His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
