I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize