ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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