never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
