There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
