Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
