great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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