so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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