everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
