The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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