Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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