bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We had sex on a dog bed..
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
