I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize