Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just took my morning after pill in the library
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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