It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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