this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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