My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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