my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
