i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize