You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
