mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
