Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
