I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
