WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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