I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
