no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
