But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
