DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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