every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
