Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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