i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So vagazzling was a success
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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